Waht is a deadbeat parent? Most often, the deadbeats discussed are “deadbeat dads” who fail to pay child support. However, mothers can be deadbeats to. A deadbeat mom may not be depriving a child of financial support, but may be depriving the child of another necessity: a relationship with the father, or other parent.
However, it is important to not that just as there are some moms who do not pay child support, there are some dads who have primary residential custody of their children who may try to deprive their children of a relationship with the mom. Either way, depriving a child of a relationship is is far too often overlooked as a reason to label a parent a “deadbeat.”
What exactly is a deadbeat parent? Obviously, non-payment of child support is one. But there are five other factors to consider:
- No Court Order? No visitation. Deadbeat parents have mastered relationship blockades – doing everything possible to prevent a father from seeing his kids. Deadbeat moms don’t let their children see the father unless a court orders them to do so.
- Court Order? Who Cares! A Deadbeat Parent is on a mission. And sometimes, that mission can lead her to violate a court order. Seem unlikely? No quite. In fact, some states – the sensible ones – make it a crime to interfere with visitation. Further, judges can hold a parent in contempt for no obeying court ordered visitation.
- False allegations and Other Perjury: False allegations deserve a PhD thesis, but for know that false allegations are a key weapon of a Deadbeat Parent. Why? First and foremost, judges are more likely to believe that women and children are victims of a father than vice versa. Deadbeat Parents know this intuitively, and it gives them the confidence to make allegations where a less sympathetic person (read: father) would not.
- Brain washing: Deadbeat Parents will use clever ways to break the bonds between a father and his child. This can be done numerous ways. It might be as subtle as non-verbal reactions when the father is the subject of conversation, she might outright disparage the father, or she might purposefully encourage behaviors and believes in the child that she knows are contrary to the father’s wishes.
- Replacement: Children are victimized enough by Deadbeat Parents, but adding salt to the wounds is the Deadbeat Parent’s efforts to replace the father in the child’s mind. I’m not talking about the Deadbeat Parent merely dating someone, that’s not replacement. Replacement occurs when the Deadbeat Parent inserts a “Fake Parent” dad into the child’s life in terms of the way the Fake Parent relates to the child. When the Fake Parent is relating to the child in way that the Real Parent would, that opens the door to replacement. And beware, replacement is occurring if the Deadbeat Parent enables contact with the Fake Parent while she is denying visitation to the Real Parent.
What’s the deal? Why would a Deadbeat Parent act in a way that so hurts her own child? It’s very simple. She hates the father’s guts. She’s greedy. She’s mentally unhealthy. Guess what? It really doesn’t matter what her motive is, it only matter’s that she is a Deadbeat Parent.